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Because the real Opiate of the Asses goes by the name "Ego" now. Fuck you.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Jersey Shore is Killing a Hard Day's Work

Jersey shore sucks, I mean that should go unsaid, it's the simple truth. But more and more I've been realizing the true repercussions of its bullshit. Teens have always been lethargic and lazy, I am no exception. This has been apparent  even before Nirvana released "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (Which is about teen lethargy you clueless fucks). At least beforehand, teens somewhat appreciated what hard work can get you. Today, because of Jersey Shore, and more recently, Project X, kids and teens are losing that value.

Simply put, you're spoiling your kids.

All I ever hear anymore is ways to skip out on work, ways to sneak out and party, ways to avoid your responsibilities. It's all about fun, ever about work. Don't get me wrong, nobody loves a good time as much as I do, but parties are breaks from work, not a lifestyle. Parties are a place to unwind after a long haul of work. Their rarity makes them better. If you have a party every other fucking day, they get boring, and you're not getting any work done.

Another thing, this lifestyle is destroying any sense of responsibility in the world. If you get too drunk, there are repercussions for your actions. Instead of just saying "Yolo" and going through with it, realize the true meaning of "you only live once", and you're shortening that one life of yours. Instead of using it as an excuse for doing something stupid, use it as an excuse for doing something responsible for once in your miserable life.

In conclusion, stop being spoiled, arrogant, irresponsible asshats and start contributing to society.

Monday, June 25, 2012

D

I just finished a debate and I wanted to write this while it's still fresh in my mind.

It's interesting how your perspective of someone can change so quickly. I was trolling a chatsite with Z͜͠͞a̧͠l̢͜g͟͡o̴͘t̶͏e͘x̀͠t̸̛ when someone identified by the letter D (and some other random dashes and shit) started talking to me. Originally I got the vibe that he was just another conspiracy theorist, he thought I was a demon, I called him out on being a dumbass, and he started talking about Atlantis. I continued calling him a dumbass, but then I got interested and we engaged in a pretty engaging debate.


I was extremely surprised when he agreed with my point of view, saying he needs to rebuild his theory. I realized how set in my beliefs we are, and how set I am. I know that I am right because I can prove it, to me, proof is everything. But I realized how closed minded I've become. He made a couple good points with the Bermuda triangle, I'm going to have to look into that.


As much as I hate to say it, the world needs more people like D, open minded people, even though I fucking hate conspiracy theorists. A necessary evil I suppose. I can only hope it's not too late for me to open my own mind.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Faceless, the story


I don’t have much time; I’m the last one left. My name is XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX, although by the time you read this, my name will just be a row of Xs due to the strange effects of this fucking thing. It doesn’t seem to affect nicknames or pseudonyms, so I will refer to myself as “Origin”. This is my story.

            My friends and I dick around in school a lot, and since we’re all kind of techies, there is a LOT of dicking around in the computer labs. One of our favorite things to mess around with was this online app called “goggles”. It basically lets you doodle on other web pages, everyone with “goggles” can see it and draw on it too, or erase your drawings. It’s still available, just google “goggles”. The problem arose when the school’s tech staff decided to block it, just like everything else fun. They also recently found a way to render Tor ineffective so that wasn’t an option either. I swear it’s always a battle between us and those fun-hating asshats. Our only alternative was to find something different. At home, we were all in a Skype call, when my friend XXXXXXX XXXX (we call him “Chaz”) found something nearly identical to goggles, it didn’t have a name, but it let us to virtually the exact same thing. Without further ado we began doodling on each other’s facebook pages.
            Further into the night, I went on Chaz’s page to doodle something. When I looked at it, his profile picture was crossed out with a red X, I thought that was kind of weird, but I left it alone, figuring it was someone else messing around. We all eventually got off Skype and went to bed, preparing for another day at school. The day went by quickly; we didn’t have any classes in the computer lab so we didn’t get to use the nameless doodling app. When we got home, we all got on Skype again and continued our dickery with the doodles. After about an hour and a half, we started hearing something in the background of Chaz’s microphone. We jokingly yelled at him to turn his TV off, but he insisted it wasn’t on. The noise got louder, and through the distortion of Chaz’s crappy microphone, we recognized the noise as inhuman screams of pain and agony, then we heard Chaz scream, there was a blinding white light that flashed from outside. I ran to the window but there was no identifiable light source other than the dim street lights and the starry sky. I got back on Skype, and found that Chaz wasn’t in the call, nor was there any evidence that he had ever been in the call, or that his Skype account had existed at all.
            His Facebook was gone without a trace too, but the thing that scared me the most was this. On my profile there was a recent picture of the entire group hanging out at one of or favorite Mexican restaurants. It wasn’t too long ago, and we knew Chaz was in the picture, but he was gone. All of us were standing there, but Chaz wasn’t. Suddenly we realized this was no joke, we all agreed to meet at Chaz’s house as soon as possible. He only lived a couple houses down, so I was the first one there. I was horrified with what I saw.
            There was Chaz, lying face up on the front lawn; his body was arranged in an X, as if he was making snow angles. He had no face. Absolutely no face. He had no mouth, no nose, no eyes, just blank skin. I was still standing there, frozen with fear, when the rest of my friends arrived. I couldn’t help but gape, nothing had prepared me for anything like this. In a moment of clarity, I ran up to the steps of the front door and started banging on it. Chaz’s parents opened and I told them that XXXXXXX was dead on their lawn. They stared at me with confused faces. “Who?” they asked. I led them down to the lawn where Chaz lay; they said they had never seen this person in their life. I sat down, bewildered and scared.
            The police arrived on the scene soon after, autopsy revealed that he died from asphyxiation, probably from having no nose or mouth. They found that his skull was also solid and blank where his face should be, but behind it were the nerves, the throat and the windpipe in their respective places. They ran a DNA test, and found it matched his parents, but no birth certificate of him existed. The room we knew as his room was a broom closet. The authorities said that even the name XXXXXXX sounded foreign, almost Arabic, despite it being a normal English name like John or Charles. They told us it wasn’t a name.
            The next day at school, nobody but us noticed he was absent. Chaz literally never existed. We uneasily went through the rest of the day. When we got home, we checked our Facebook pages with the unnamed app. Sure enough; we found someone’s profile crossed out, just like before. This time it was XXX XXXXXXX, we call him “The Bomb”. We went on Skype and turned on the video chat. The Bomb armed himself with a knife from the kitchen and set his webcam to watch the entire room. Then we started hearing the screaming again. The Bomb’s microphone was much better quality, and we could hear individual voices. I swore I heard Chaz’s voice in there as well. Thinking quickly, I started capturing the footage from the video. The screams got louder and louder, and The Bomb grew visibly more on edge. All of a sudden, the stream got distorted, and a giant red fucking X appeared in the middle of The Bomb’s room. From the distorted footage of the stream, we could make out him backing away, then an X appeared on his face, he gripped something on his face, holding something as if there was an animal attached, he clawed at it before the X disappeared along with his face. Immediately he gripped his throat and his face, trying to claw out a hole to breathe through. Before long, he collapsed, then a flash of white light forced me to blink. That was the last I saw of The Bomb, alive anyway. I looked at the video I took, but found that the file was corrupted. Once again, there was no evidence that XXX ever existed. No Facebook, no Skype, and his parents insisted they didn’t have a child named XXX. His corpse was the same, found in his parent’s front lawn, faceless.
            Every day, one of my friends disappeared in the same way. Like I said, I’m the last one. That fucking X is going to appear any moment and take my face away.

I can already hear the screaming, that fucking inhumane screaming. I hear them all, Chaz, The Bomb, Muscles, Mooch. These are my last words. Oh my god, It’s not an X, it’s a fuckinXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Be patient

I'm currently in the process of writing some creepypasta, which I will post, I also plan to write a rant on ignorance later tonight. Stay tuned folks.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

How I Judge People

Well I just finished reading a clusterfuck of creepypasta so I'm not sleeping tonight.

I go on a lot of chatsites because the mindless drivel there gives me material for this blog. Also, in case you can't notice the blatantly obvious, I enjoy trolling as a hobby. I don't judge people for no reason. I don't look at a random person and automatically throw them into one group or another. There are certain things I notice about people. Well, not so much as notice as have it shoved in my face.

Usually the first thing I see is a username. Your username says a lot. For instance my current (badass) username on Teenspot is Opiate_of_the_Asses. My previous names have been Milk_Aenima (as well as several variations of that name), Die_eier_von_lucifer, and Discustipated. I like the names that are suitably provocative yet have a bit of a twist to them (also, Tool). Most usernames I come across are pretty normal if not interesting or intriguing. That makes me think that the person behind that username is pretty normal if not interesting or intriguing.

Let's say you have a name like "H0rny_19f_princess69". I immediately think "fucking moron" and treat you as such. If it turns out that you're actually a decent person, I apologize and carry on. But this never happens because decent people don't make names like "H0rny_19f_princess69" unless they're mentally unstable, drunk, or trolling. Choose your usernames carefully, they count for more than you might think.

The second thing I usually see is what you contribute to the conversation at hand. For example:
Enough said. You get the point.

If you piss me off enough, I look at your profile, and these are the things I look for, although not necessarily in any meaningful order.

-Comments on you profile/pictures
This goes by the same principle of the username part. If the comments are actually conversational and not sexual/flirty in any way, then you get points on the decent scale. If not, minus points.

-Pictures
The things I look for in pictures are exposed body parts, specifically chest (for girls) and abs (for guys). I look for "artistic" instagram filters like sepia for example, and I look for duck faces. Depending of how many of the things mentioned you have, minus or plus points.

-"About Me" or Description
You get minus points if your description says anything about being bisexual below the age of 18, if you are below the age of 14, if your description has terrible spelling and grammar, or if the terms "yolo" or "swag" are anywhere in it.




That pretty much sums up what I think of you. If you don't match the description above, good job, we could be friends. If we ever meet I'll buy you a beer or something.

If you DO match the description above, get your filthy swag off my blog.

Monday, June 18, 2012

You are not a nerd

Once, the term "nerd" meant something, but everything changed when the hipsters attacked.

Today a nerd is someone who is somewhat into a subject that might be considered "intellectual", "fantasy" or "sci-fi". Today nerds are associated with thick rimmed glasses (also known as hipster glasses), and "cute shy guys". From what I can tell, this is because of the shows "Big Bang Theory" and "Glee". They have popularized "the nerd" into something it isn't. Hipsters are taking over this stereotype saying they are "book nerds" or "math nerds" or "star wars nerds". I've fairly certain most of those so called nerds have never even taken a look at a book more advanced than Harry Potter or Twilight, or perhaps they read Fight Club through once, then declared themselves well read. The trends change so quickly that a "book nerd" might become a "Gamer nerd" overnight because they downloaded Steam. 

And it isn't just hipsters that are perpetuating this trend. The other day I saw this on my Facebook.

I commented, asking him to stop aggregating this trend, he got angry and deleted my comments.

Typical.

If you don't spend hours playing Dungeons and Dragons, don't get extremely interested in something for at least a month and stick with it, or if you wear those moronic thick rimmed hipster glasses, then you are not a nerd.

UPDATE:

I've found a good definition of a nerd from someone who goes by the name DisparitybyDesign


"1. One who derives entertainment from deep, logical thinking and doing activities that require this..."


Original post by DisparitybyDesign can be found here.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Rap is like having someone shit in your ear to a beat

I'm not much of a music guy, I only listen to about 4 or 5 bands, but I do recognize how shitty rap and modern pop is. I played classical and jazz piano for several years before switching over to singing, so I've developed an appreciation for the skill required to make good music. I've also realized how little skill it takes to rap. First of all, the music itself. Most of the time the "music" is just a beat to 4/4 time throughout the entirety of the song. No chord progression, no key change, every measure looks exactly the same, except for the chorus in some cases. The most complex chord structure might be a major seventh chord, but that's pushing it. The vocal part is completely monotone, and just shitty poetry about sex, drugs, money or violence. Hardly any of the content is thought-provoking or interesting in the least.

I heard someone say recently that the only thing worse than being poor is being rich and being like Kanye West.

Let's compare rap to music that I listen too. Like I said, I only listen to 4 or 5 bands. Those bands are Tool, Rage Against the Machine, A Perfect Circle, Foo Fighters and other tidbits of metal, rock, or progressive metal here and there. I can appreciate and enjoy the complexities of almost any genre of music with the exception of rap and modern pop. The song Schism by Tool uses advanced vocabulary, polyrhythmic time signatures, crescendos and decrescendos, metaphors, allegory and actual instruments, as well as actual chord progression. There's no slang and the song describes humanity's disconnection with spiritualism, and is pretty thought provoking. The song No Church in the Wild by Kanye West uses a simple time signature, the same measure of sound over and over again with some computer generated sounds here and there. He uses a mostly monotone voice, and describes riots, and to someone like me isn't too thought provoking at all. The most advanced vocabulary in that song is "monogamy". For comparison, Schism has the words "Mildewed", "juxtaposed", "dissonance" and "atrophy".

If you think Kanye West is smarter or more talented than any member of Tool, you're a moron.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

You did not discover an alien plot to rule the world.

No, there is not a reptilian hierarchy holding sway over the galaxy. No, you did not uncover irrefutable evidence that aliens have visited the earth. No, the government is not silencing that article you published. You know why? Because you're a nobody. You're not a distinguished researcher, you're just some guy who put random sources together on the internet and drew a conclusion, not caring about the credibility of any of your sources. Anyone can just go and make up a story. What do you think Scientology is? It's just some guy that made up a story that millions of people now believe. You're no better. The fact that it's only you and maybe a few other people is just adding insult to injury. At least Scientology is (apparently) believable bullshit. Who the hell is going to believe you if you say something like "The Illuminati reptilian high-lords planted you to discredit me." If there was some Illuminati reptilian high-lord, they wouldn't even need me to discredit you, because you're a moron enough to discredit yourself. Do society a favor and shut the fuck up.

Monday, June 4, 2012

I'm Pro Marijuana legalization but Anti Drug users

I have a lot of principles I try to uphold. One of those principles is the freedom of personal choice. In the words of Bill Hicks "It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal choice." I find it ludicrous that alcohol is legal while Marijuana is not. Alcohol causes more deaths than AIDS or Tuberculosis, and is linked with domestic violence.  On the other hand, there is NOT ONE death related to marijuana. One study shows that you would have to smoke a few thousand joints in the space of 10 minutes in order to attain an overdose in THC. Marijuana has a relaxing effect on the mind, and while some studies show that it is mentally addictive, it is far less addictive than nicotine or alcohol. Cannabis is far less dangerous than other LEGAL drugs around.

HOWEVER
Every single pothead I've met is either a moron or a douchebag. I would be completely fine with marijuana legalization if it wasn't for those arrogant asshats. They feel all high and mighty because they're doped out. I've seen crackheads thinking they're Gandhi because they think smoking a joint is "civil disobedience". I have yet to meet a smart crackhead. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place but the only ones I know are either dropouts or have a GPA of 1.5. 

You morons frustrate me beyond belief. If you're wondering why marijuana is illegal, here's your answer: 
You

Switching Gears

This blog is going nowhere. I'm going to switch gears and change this to my general opinions page. I'll post programming stuff if I get around to it, but I've recently been less and less into programming and more and more into writing. I guess I'll take a Maddox-like approach to this and just post rants about things that annoy me or downright piss me off.