It's 11:30 at night and I'm tired as all dick from doing 4 chapters of AP Physics work. I just watched a couple videos that inspired me to try and break out of my writer's block with the most heavy handed way I can think of.
Moar writing
So I suppose I'll start by talking about creativity.
My creative writing teacher would try and get us inspired by making us write nonstop for 20 minutes about anything we wanted. I used this technique often in the past until I didn't really need to anymore as topics began popping in my head like fucking popcorn. Those were the days where I would write more than a post a week. I suppose I'll try this technique again, but it doesn't really seem to be working because, as I mentioned, it's 11:30 at night and I'm tired as all dick which is slowing my mind down to the point where I'm typing a hell of a lot faster than I can think right now. I'm also beginning to suspect I'm a little stressed because I swear I just heard the first three beats of Queen's "We Will Rock You" in this utterly motionless and sleeping house.
Usually when I get inspired to write, it's because of a phrase I heard somewhere that reminds me why I love writing. This phrase can be anything, but usually it involves good vocabulary and a context of good writing. Today this phrase is "vociferous lack of shit-giving".
I like to consider myself an artist that paints with words but I'm not sure exactly how accurate that is, because I'm not sure any of my writing is actually good. My AP Language teacher reads some of my posts here and there and when I ask her, she tells me I'm a good writer. I tell myself I should believe her but my insecurities always get to me and I have little confidence in the quality of any of these posts. My "Fuck you Peter Singer" post was based off an assignment I got in that class, and I handed in an edited version of my post. I'm not sure what I'm so fucking worried about because that essay got the highest score it's possible to get.
I don't know if this is me bragging or being insecure, but I constantly feel my writing is very hit and miss, mostly the latter. Maybe this paranoia I have is the reason I apparently write well, so if I stop worrying maybe I'll stop writing well.
I've watched a lot of videos warning against the trap of fame, that you should generate content on your own accord instead of doing what you think the fans want. I don't know why I'm bringing this up because I'm in no danger of falling victim to my own fame because my fame doesn't exist. I suppose the danger was more apparent when I first started this blog, or at least the opinions portion of it, because I expected it to be something else. I originally wanted something along the lines of Maddox's page, angry, cynical, and actually pretty juvenile in an effort to derive some humor from the mix. I'm glad I grew out of that and this blog went in the direction that it did, but now I'm left with a bunch of angry, juvenile posts that no longer reflect my views. I still read Maddox's page and still find it funny, but I also realize that Maddox isn't necessarily the person he portrays himself to be, whereas this blog I try to do the opposite, as these (more recent) posts do reflect my views. I do fluff up my opinions to an extent, but I've noticed I've been doing so less and less.
Perhaps the insecurity of my writing is also in the insecurity of many my opinions. I like to think I'm educated and I know what I'm talking about, but I often remember that I am just a 17 year old kid, how much can I possibly know? I can't always be right, but when am I wrong? I try to put these insecurities to rest with quotes like this, but the doubt remains.
Perhaps its only because it's so late and I'm so tired, when I wake up in the morning I always feel confident with who I am, how I look and my abilities, but at times like this I always question myself. It's at times like this I look at my actions and decide, am I being a hypocrite? Am I being an asshole? And more often than not, the answers I give myself are "yes", and I resolve to continue trying to better myself.
I don't know why I'm writing this down. I don't know if it's wise to post this. I don't know if this sounds depressing or self-centered.
Right now I'm sitting in a dark room, at 12:10 at night. The only sound I hear is the sound of my own typing. Tonight, I am merely human.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Spotlight on Games: Thomas was Gay
I just played the most moving and sentimental game I have and will ever experience. Never again will I look at life the same way. Every minor aspect was thought through and considered, creating a beautifully weaved masterpiece of a game. The industry will never be the same. Thomas was Gay is a story-driven adventure game, loaded with subtleties and messages, leading up to an emotional climax guaranteed to leave the player in tears, and cause them to rethink the way they live life. Developed by an anonymous indie developer, and distributed for free, Thomas was Gay is, simply put, beautiful.
And yes, incredibly, this masterpiece is FREE TO PLAY https://googledrive.com/host/0B8Qz88jTfzpnLVJWc293blN6Zlk/index.html
This game will go down in history as a classic milestone in the gaming community, representing gaming's transition into an art form. Every aspect, from the colors, the dialogue, the story, the pacing, the lack of sound, everything is carefully selected and given meaning. This anonymous developer has truly outdone himself with this intricately crafted emotional tapestry.
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Alright, look you fuckers, there has been a problem arising in the gaming industry as of late, developers passing off interactive movies as "adventure games". I'm certainly a fan of deep, cognitive story based games, but the key word in that statement is "games". Games have gameplay elements, like puzzles. There are plenty of great cognitive story-based games, like Depict One or Looming, and especially Myst, which basically gave birth to the whole genre. However thing that sets those games apart from interactive movies like Dear Esther and (possibly, I'll decide for sure after I play it but for now I'll put it here) Gone Home, is that there are puzzles and actual things to do. Let's get one thing perfectly clear.
Walking around a creepy environment and learning the story with no possibility of failure does not make a game.
The point of a game is to present a challenge, not simply engage the player's interest. There needs to be a possibility of failure, some sort of "bad end" to challenge the player to actually play. Simply exploring an environment is interesting and all, but without a challenge, without a possibility of failure, without actual gameplay elements, it is not a game.
So it really rustles my jimmies when games like Dear Esther and Gone Home get good ratings based exclusively on their story instead of the things that should actually make it a game. Having a good story is important, and I'm sure Dear Esther and Gone Home have excellent, moving and emotional stories, but they are by no means games.
If I wanted something cognitive and interesting to do that doesn't require me to actually play a game I'd just watch The Prestige again. Christ.
And yes, incredibly, this masterpiece is FREE TO PLAY https://googledrive.com/host/0B8Qz88jTfzpnLVJWc293blN6Zlk/index.html
This game will go down in history as a classic milestone in the gaming community, representing gaming's transition into an art form. Every aspect, from the colors, the dialogue, the story, the pacing, the lack of sound, everything is carefully selected and given meaning. This anonymous developer has truly outdone himself with this intricately crafted emotional tapestry.
---
Alright, look you fuckers, there has been a problem arising in the gaming industry as of late, developers passing off interactive movies as "adventure games". I'm certainly a fan of deep, cognitive story based games, but the key word in that statement is "games". Games have gameplay elements, like puzzles. There are plenty of great cognitive story-based games, like Depict One or Looming, and especially Myst, which basically gave birth to the whole genre. However thing that sets those games apart from interactive movies like Dear Esther and (possibly, I'll decide for sure after I play it but for now I'll put it here) Gone Home, is that there are puzzles and actual things to do. Let's get one thing perfectly clear.
Walking around a creepy environment and learning the story with no possibility of failure does not make a game.
The point of a game is to present a challenge, not simply engage the player's interest. There needs to be a possibility of failure, some sort of "bad end" to challenge the player to actually play. Simply exploring an environment is interesting and all, but without a challenge, without a possibility of failure, without actual gameplay elements, it is not a game.
So it really rustles my jimmies when games like Dear Esther and Gone Home get good ratings based exclusively on their story instead of the things that should actually make it a game. Having a good story is important, and I'm sure Dear Esther and Gone Home have excellent, moving and emotional stories, but they are by no means games.
If I wanted something cognitive and interesting to do that doesn't require me to actually play a game I'd just watch The Prestige again. Christ.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Guest Post: Will Be Mad
Twenty years ago, under the howling of a vicious storm, a boy was born. A boy that would grow up to be a really sarcastic and grumpy man. In the years to come, this man would write a blog. After a series of seemingly inconsequential and unconnected events you are now reading an introduction to that blog. It will change your life forever...
I am an angry man. I have been told this. I know it and I accept it. In fact I do more than accept it, I embrace it! I have spent the last 20 years trying to find something I'm good at. God knows I'm shit at everything else. Give a baboon a piano and the resulting cacophony is the extent of my musical talent, and don't even get me started on art. A Neanderthal with a lump of charcoal could do better. Despite all this, I am capable of stringing words together to form coherent sentences. As a result I thought that I would use this skill in the only way worthy, a blog. Because who doesn't want to read sarcastically angry posts from a skinny white guy?
So what do I write about? Absolutely fucking anything. If it pisses me off it's fair game in my opinion. So far topics include Call of Duty, the weather, Margaret Thatcher and the French. Hell, if you cross me in the street and are a colossal dick then you may just feature. Nothing is sacred, no one is safe.
My blog does come with a health warning though. If you are easily offended then you might want to look away. If you are offended for other people then I will personally hunt you down and slap you in the face with my penis. Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. If you don't like what I write there is an option: you can fuck off. If you aren't that guy, feel free to drop by and have a little chuckle at other people's expense.
You can find me on Will Be Mad; a blog about things that get on my tits, delivered with wit, humour and a sprinkling of sarcasm.
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